Unique terms that no one ever heard of until they become involved with a widower and start to realize that this isnt your typical relationship. We quickly search out 'women who love widowers', 'dating a widower', 'how to handle a deceased wife', 'children dealing with grief' and so on! We stumble upon secret groups and online communities. Hundreds, thousands of women all feeling the same emotions. Who else has to navigate memorial services, fundraisers, facebook posts, joint burial plots, her ashes in your china cabinet, wedding pictures, friends who wont accept or even meet you, holiday traditions, etc etc etc...the list is endless
How can you explain to someone that you are jealous of a dead woman? How can you say that you are in competition with a Saint? How can you say that you feel like a visitor in your own home? Can we take down the wedding pictures? Will she be coming to see her clothes in the closet anytime soon? Would it be ok if we threw out her toothbrush? Do I have to make her casserole for Thanksgiving? Can't I decorate my own home? WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THERE ARE 3 OF US IN THIS RELATIONSHIP AND I WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH?
These are thoughts that therapists don't always understand or even get to hear because we are ashamed. Our online communities are our first experience with women who understand. I am here to tell you that you are not a monster or a horrible person. Welcome to the world of loving a widower! Finally, someone who lives it, understands it and can truly help you navigate your feelings has arrived! Together we will explore the unspoken and create meaningful ways to not only cope but rather thrive in your relationship
I found myself falling in love with a widower many years ago. I didn't hesitate at all because I was blissfully unaware of the challenges associated with this type of relationship. Odd situations started appearing as I became more involved. I struggled with living with the memory of a saint, dealing with children handling grief and all the crazy things that only we understand. I tried traditional therapy for over a year and didn't feel better.
I worked in corporate america for 30+ years coaching behavior while all of this unfolded. I worked extensively with professionals on deepening communications skills, understanding what drives human behavior, identifying goals and creating clear plans to achieve them. Many of what I now call the 'wow survival skills'.
The lightbulb went off and I took what I knew and applied it to my situation. Success! Now I solely focus on helping other women do the same. I've been able to help many and would love the chance to do the same for you!
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